Sunday 25th September
After having completed probably the most chaotic week of my life, there are a couple 'first's I would like to reflect on.
1. My first Taiwanese public bus experience.
Living on the outskirts of the city, travelling by bus is the easiest way to get around (rather than the MRT).
A couple days ago I went out to Jingmei night market to meet some friends. Before setting out, I researched every possible way I could go wrong (there are many) and made my way down to the bus station.
Turns out buses really do not agree with me.
I look on my phone and see that I have to take the BR6. I assume this means bus route 6, so as the 'brown 6' bus pulls up I step away confidently, making way for others to get on, and take a look at the board. When the bus I'm waiting for doesn't come, my stupidity dawns on me.
I wait 30 minutes for the next bus, which adds a 20 minute shameful walk on the other end.
The bus itself was a whole new experience too. I got on at an early station in the bus route so managed to grab a seat, but it started filling up rapidly. Apparently 'bagsying' a seat counts for nothing though, as for the entire 40 minute journey, my personal space crosses no one's mind but my own.
Throughout the whole journey, I can feel people breathing down my neck, hear people clearing their lungs into their masks (some even take their masks off to do so) and a constant flow of people, mixed with some questionable driving skills makes the passenger crowd sway uncontrollably.
To avoid toppling over, people hold on the anything, including other passengers. A woman decides to stand over me, holding on to my headrest and rests her handbag on my lap while she scrolls through her 'Line' feed in my face as if to share the experience with me.
However, totally worth the pain to go to Jingmei and have some delicious grub!
2. My first Chinese marketing lecture – aka public humiliation
So, a family friend from Singapore is a marketing professor at my university. He insists that I come to his 3 HOUR lecture every Thursday afternoon – it's called 'Product Innovation; Adoption and Diffusion' (whatever that means). It is also for Master's students.
I sit down at a desk towards the back of the lecture hall with my name card slotted in the desk in front of me. At this time, I do not feel too anxious, expecting this to be a 'sit back, listen and try to understand' learning experience for me. Although, considering the room of native Chinese-speakers in front of me, it is a daunting experience to say the least.
To start the class, the professor gives me a microphone and makes me introduce myself to everyone – without warning. Having been put completely on the spot, I take the microphone, and I have suddenly lost all the moisture in my mouth to every single sweat gland in my body.
Voice and hands shaking, I mumble a brief few sentences about Durham and warn them that my Chinese isn't nearly as good as theirs'. Everyone claps pitifully and I shrink into my chair embarrassed, yet glad that my public speaking is finally over.
Nope.
Never in a million years did I expect to be called upon to ANSWER A QUESTION in the middle of this lecture. Nevertheless, about an hour and a half in, someone hands me a microphone (I think – I have since tried my best to block this from memory) and he asks me to describe the mysterious product pictured on the board in front of me.
The picture shows a green package with Chinese writing I don't understand. He repeats the question and waits for an answer despite the indication from my bright red face that I don't have one. I have no clue what this product is, I opt for the safest bet and say that it's 'healthy'.
Luckily it turned out to be an edible product (bamboo salt), but my answer is clearly less than satisfactory because he takes the microphone from me and passes it to the girl in front. She proceeds to deliver an impeccable 3 minute speech, unprepared, and everyone claps (genuinely this time) when she finishes speaking.
I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, out of frustration rather than sadness – you know the feeling – and I do my best to choke them down, wary of another surprise attack from the microphone.
My clairvoyant skills paid off.
To conclude the lecture, Professor Hsiao invites us to reflect on the 'lesson learned' (pictured, moments before disaster) and begins to hand out the dreaded microphone again – one guess who he gives it to!
My classmates snap their heads around, excited for the free entertainment coming from the back of the class and my face convulses in anxiety.
I begrudgingly take the microphone for the third time today, and tell the class what I learned today – that I need to improve my mandarin. Everyone chuckles lightly and awkwardly- they agree. But the professor wants a serious answer and asks me again what I have learned.
At this point there is one thought running through my head:
take a f**king hint!
He lets me off after I make up some waffle and we are all relieved for this experience to be over. As people file out the classroom, there is a queue of students lining up to give me a pat on the back – letting me know I did as well as I could have. I flash a quick smile and a 謝謝 for their kindness and half walk, half sprint home.
